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The Complete Guide to 99 ROCK Everything you never wanted to know... Morning Movement : (5:30a to 9am) A summarily disengaging morning show. Murph, who keeps his card close to his chest, because if he lets you see his cards, you’ll win. Galvin, who doesn’t like people and has little patience for anyone who acts like a person. Leslie, we’re still trying to figure her out. Woofy: (9am-2pm) He thinks we don’t know that he goes golfing when he claims to be getting that sore spot on his wiener looked at. Kevin McKay: (2pm-6pm) On a lifelong search for Oedipussy. Danny James: (floating around the weekends, somewhere) Prototypical rock jock with no evident long term goals and a ponytail. Diamond Dan: (weekends) There's something about Diamond Dan that we just can't put our finger on. Uncle Zito: He's not really named Zito. He's not even an uncle. He's an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, and smothered in secret sauce. Flashback: (Sunday 9am – 11am) A feature presentation we put on the air on so you don’t have to listen to the weekend rock jocks. House of Blues: (Sunday 8am – 9am) See Flashback. Whole Lotta Lunch: Woofy’s mid-day feature designed make his job easier, how lazy can one man be? Connect the Classics: Yet another feature to reduce Woofy’s think-load, and an opportunity to tell callers that they're on dope. Rapid Fire Fridays: Okay, this is red, and it makes you ..uh..not go? Free Music Weekend: The hell with the music, free the Chicago Seven. What? Oh, they are? Cancel the feature. Stupid News: (6:20a,7:20a,8:20a) There's never a shortage of stupid news because there's never a shortage of stupid people, because there's never a shortage of stupid sperm. Cliché of the Day: (5:50a,6:50a,7:50a,8:50a, 5:45p) This feature is a dichotomy because it’s not really a cliché at all. I used the word “dichotomy”, and I don’t even know what it means. Five O’clock Blowhard: (5:00 pm) Meaningless drivel. We thought about changing the name to five o’clock meaningless drivel, but that name was knee deep in suck. Hair Club: (6:20 pm) 3 hair bands in a row and Kevin breaking pens and pencils in the studio pretending to be Tommy Lee. Join today! Below The Zone: Your chance to hear new music; a refreshing break from listening to Skynyrd again. Seriously, Tuesday IS gone with the wind. Hard Rock: I actually found one of these in my shoe. It hurt a lot until I took it out. Kay Rock: Kevin McKay's imaginary mom. Classic Rock: Rhymes with "plastic spock". |
Rock-N-Jock/Cabo
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